MERLD World

Many of the parents I have been speaking to mention that their children also exhibit behavioral issues. What are some of the issues that you are experiencing with your MERLD child?  How do you handle those issues?  How do you decide what are age-appropriate behaviors and what are MERLD-related behaviors?

Each child with MERLD learns differently.  Some learn quickly, are able to memorize.  Others take much longer, needing to assimilate differently.  You have to determine how your child learns…and sometimes that means looking at, and revamping, how you, as a parent, see both teaching and learning.

First, you need to observe your child like never before in everyday situations. If you have the time to volunteer in school, watch your child from afar–remembering that children act differently away from home and mommy or daddy.  It may be wise to refrain from volunteering in your child’s classroom if you are in observation mode.  At home, observe your child in individual play, with siblings, with neighborhood friends.  Observe your child engaged in household chores, while watching TV, playing video games, or reading a book.

Keeping a journal is a great way to chronicle what you observe.  It is also a great way to list questions, make suggestions to yourself that you won’t forget, and plan learning activities.  Unless you have a mind like a steel trap, journaling, making notes, lists, saves a heck of a lot of frustration later. Another plus is that members of your child’s educational team may like to see your observations.

Remember, you are your child’s best advocate in the school system and in life.  Equally important is remembering that you are the key player in your child’s interdisciplinary team of educators.  Lastly, remember that your child, however, is the captain of this ship. Your child will tell you which direction to sail.  It is up to us as parents to watch for cues and to learn how to listen to your child’s directions in the context of normal school and family life.

Some Basic Questions to Consider

Does your child thrive on detail?

Does your child prefer to see the whole picture first; then break it down into manageable chunks of detail?

Does your child thrive on routine?

Is your child easily frustrated if too much is thrust at him at once?

Does your child need short snippets of learning and then talking about how it relates to his life?

Does your child exhibit behavioral issues that keep him from learning?

Watch what makes your child at ease, what makes your child easily frustrated, smile, frown.  We as parents watch our children and make mental notes about them anyway. Trouble is, they get tucked in and lost between shuttling kids to school, our own work, home life in general, and the million things that we deal with each day.  So if you can jot your observations down.

A Note about Your Child’s Interdisciplinary Team

No matter what school your child goes to, public, private, or parochial, he will be expected to maintain minimal state and federal standards. Your child may have an interdisciplinary team in place to help him or her reach those standards if your child is in mainstream learning. I do encourage mainstream education unless the special education department is geared toward getting your child into mainstream classrooms.

Your interdisciplinary team may consist of your child, yourself and other family members, teachers, speech language pathologists, physical or occupational therapists, reading specialists and peer tutors.

Keep in mind that they all have a zillion things going on as well in their days. They may have autistic children, children with behavioral issues, food allergies, etc, to attend to and tons of paperwork required by school, local, state and federal governments to contend with, so it is even more imperative for parents to stay involved.  Parent or educator, it is tough to constantly keep switching gears and not get behind with all the different personalities and learning styles of the children in your care.

It can be exhausting trying to keep on top of home, hearth, and all the special needs of your family and extended families. In this economy, the stress levels are high as parents lose jobs and insurance, which may mean loss of therapeutic coverage for children with MERLD. If you are at this point, step back, take a breather, and reassess.  There are ways to maintain your child’s learning levels.  We will discuss that on our next blog post.

In the meantime, find the blessings in your MERLD worl

Once your child is diagnosed with MERLD, forget the TV as a sitter. Experience is the best teacher.  I made that mistake.  I had my children one right after the other, three in little over three years.  Oobi and other Noggin shows were my best friends.  Or so I thought.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Noggin, or now as it’d called, Nick, Jr.  It’s one of the best channels on the tube.  But plopping your child in his play pen in front of a little guy made out of an actor’s hand is two dimensional socialization and not good for kids with MERLD.  Limit TV.

MERLD children need to build connections three dimensionally.  At least mine did.  Human connection is the best teacher for anyone–but even more so for the MERLD child.

One of the difficulties we’ve had is the “what you see is what you get” mindset.  All children repeat what they see or hear.  With my kids, it was “garbage in, no garbage out.”  So I began to limit TV drastically and read and interact more with the kids.  I fought my husband to homeschool.  It was less out of religious preference than out of fear that the kids would be made fun of, fall behind. I was terribly wrong.

My children are in the mainstream of a parochial school with speech, reading and math help.  There’s no special education classes.  In one year that my son enrolled, the difference in his speech and receptive skills is night and day.  He is not up to grade level yet, but with intensive work on part of himself, his teachers and us, he will be, I am certain.  Same with my daughter.  My middle son has no trouble learning…just minding sometimes!  It’s a struggle with homework many nights, sometimes taking many times longer than it should, but when that light turns on, it has been staying on.  And I thank the Good Lord for that!

If you are in the midst of diagnosis, know that you are not alone and that there is light at the end of the long tunnel.  I welcome specific questions regarding the process and comments of how you fared through it.  In upcoming posts, we will discuss specifics of everyday life living with MERLD as a family.  I would love to include comments from families living with mixed expressive/receptive learning disorder and will try to get a new blog post up and running each week.

In the meantime, find the blessings in your MERLD World.

Two of my children have mixed expressive/receptive learning disorder (MERLD).  What is MERLD? Why is so little written about it?

My children are not autistic.  Many children with MERLD, which is a communication disorder, are prematurely placed on the autism spectrum because many of the symptoms, for lack of a better word, are similar: echolalia, behavioral problems, repetitive behavior or stimming.

My son was diagnosed at age four with moderate to severe MERLD by a hospital speech therapist.  My daughter was three and diagnosed with mild to moderate MERLD through her preK speech therapist.  Both are very social, chatty kids.  But, as my now seven-year-old son puts it, “My brain doesn’t always work right.”  Both children are average to above average intelligence, as a great many kids with MERLD are, but many tasks they cannot complete at school without hands-on assistance, especially math and reading.  Both children, through intervention, are learning to communicate on their grade levels.

Think of MERLD as an “aphasia” of the brain.  The kids hear what you are telling them, but somewhere between hearing and understanding the words, things get jumbled up…the wires get crossed.  It’s like learning a new language.  You can hear someone speak it, but you “get” only some of the words and quite often respond through context or whatever you can “pull out” of the conversation.  It’s also like a stroke victim who must relearn how to speak.  The words go in, it takes a while to assimilate them, and then to find the “right” words to express what the person wants to say.

This blog and the book in progress will focus on living with MERLD.  The activities of daily living.  For example: How do you speak to a child with MERLD? Normally. If your child uses a different word than an “accepted” word in a response or jumbles up sentences, correct him.

Child:  A carrot rabbit fast runs.

Immediately say:  A rabbit runs fast. He likes carrots, doesn’t he?

And then go on.  Your child  will catch on and catch up.  Consistency is the key to learning.

I welcome all comments and am gathering testimonials to use in my book which will include expert commentary from speech language professionals.

Stay tuned.

Cie